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Sōzoku Shita Sofu no Ie no Urayama ni Danjon ga Dekimashita - Chapter 93

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Takasugi Dives into Research

Once I got back home, I buried myself in thought.

How… how could I protect my precious rear end from the goblins’ ass bat—I mean, ass club?

No matter how hard I thought, a good idea just wouldn’t come to me.

My family was away on a trip.

A trip is something you can take anytime, as long as you’ve got the money and the time.

But being an adventurer… that has a deadline.

Next year, when Nakamori-san’s gorilla of an older brother graduates high school, I have to invite her to join my party.

That’s why I’d turned down the family’s summer trip.

Still, no matter how much I mulled it over, nothing came to mind. So, as a change of pace, I decided to visit the home improvement store.

Maybe… just maybe, I’d find some hint for my next invention.

When I arrived, I wandered aimlessly down the aisles.

And then… something caught my eye.

A sudare—that bamboo screen thing.

Thin bamboo rods strung together, usually propped up outside a window to block the sun and keep the room cool.

The moment I saw it, inspiration struck.

This is it!

I’d make it shorter—just enough to cover my butt—and attach a belt so I could wear it around my waist.

I’d craft it from cushiony, shock-absorbing material to protect my precious backside from the impact of a club.

And of course, I’d choose the lightest material possible.

Fufufu…

A genius idea, if I do say so myself!

I bought several kinds of materials and practically skipped all the way home.

With my family gone on their trip, there was no one to disturb me.

God himself was on my side!

I spent hours shaping the guard to fit snugly against my rear, testing which materials absorbed impact best.

For my trials, I used the baseball bat I’d swung around back in elementary school, whacking away, making improvements, testing again.

At last—success!

I’d done it! Now I could take revenge on those goblins.

After all… I’m the kind of man who never forgets a grudge against his butt.

I called Kudō.

“Hey, Kudō. Let’s go goblin hunting in the dungeon tomorrow!”

But he replied, “I’m still on a family trip. I’ll be back tomorrow, so the day after would work.”

Tch. Fine.

We’d hunt goblins the day after tomorrow, then.

Enjoy your extra day of life, goblins… while you can.

Two days later, Kudō and I arrived at the dungeon.

In the changing room, I got my gear ready. Finally, I pulled my new weapon out of my bag.

I strapped it around my waist, letting it hang behind me to shield my rear.

Kudō glanced over. “Takasugi, what’s that?”

Ah, excellent question, Kudō!

“This,” I declared proudly, “is the result of my research and experimentation—the one and only Butt Guard Mark I!”

“Whoa, that’s awesome!” Kudō said.

Yes, good! Keep the praise coming! I’m the kind of guy who grows with compliments, after all.

But then he added, “So… is there a Butt Guard Mark II as well?”

…Of course there isn’t, you idiot!

With that, we set off toward the dungeon entrance, ready for a goblin hunt.


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